Faith Leader Embraces Mental Health Support
John Gray, a megachurch pastor, and his wife Aventer have credited both their faith and therapy for saving their marriage after his involvement in multiple inappropriate relationships. Gray shared their ongoing healing journey during an episode of the “Dear Future Wifey” podcast, explaining that the couple now attends weekly counseling, both individually and together. He expressed regret for not seeking therapy earlier and emphasized how deeply his untreated mental health struggles affected his family and ministry, even leading to suicidal thoughts.
Gray’s experience reflects a broader trend among pastors, many of whom desire mental health support but do not pursue it. According to the Barna Group, while nearly 20% of U.S. pastors have considered self-harm or suicide, 65% have never accessed professional mental health care. Joe Jensen, a former pastor and Barna’s senior vice president, attributes this to cultural and generational norms that discourage openness around mental health. Many pastors, he noted, were never taught the importance of therapy and instead relied solely on spiritual practices like prayer and anointing.
Jensen highlighted how modern church culture, which often prioritizes a polished public image, pressures pastors to hide their struggles. The emphasis on outward success discourages vulnerability, making it harder for pastors to seek help. This culture, combined with financial limitations—especially among bi-vocational pastors—further hinders access to mental health resources. Research also shows that those not in full-time ministry are more likely to experience severe mental health challenges due to fewer available support systems.
To address these concerns, Jensen urged churches to change their approach by prioritizing mentorship, fostering open conversations about mental health, and ensuring pastors’ families are also supported. He emphasized the need to move away from consumer-driven church models and return to early Christian principles centered on discipleship and holistic well-being. According to Jensen, such a shift could foster healthier pastors, stronger families, and more authentic church communities.